The gift of being real
/I am sorry to be only getting this message out now, less than 24 hours away from the next Gift of Happiness event. I started thinking about what I might write days ago, and was up past midnight the last two nights trying to get into that writing zone where words just flow. It didn't work, though. The harder I tried and the more I worried about finishing, the more painful it was and the less I liked what I wrote.
I actually had some pretty cool insights this week. I've finally started coming to terms with how much help -- and money -- I'm going to have to ask for if Gift of Happiness to become an official nonprofit. There is so much shame there for me (Shouldn't I be able to do this on my own?), and fear (What if people think what I'm doing is stupid, or feel like they "should" help me even if they don't really want to?) -- but how will I get anything I want if I'm not willing to ask for it?
I envisioned this post tying in perfectly with tomorrow's Give & Receive event, which is all about offering and asking for help of different kinds. But like I said, it didn't flow. I kept starting and re-starting, frustrated with myself. My words felt forced and fake, trying to make those perfect connections, trying to impress you all with my deep and meaningful insights. Blech! I hate feeling like I have to impress people. I want to be real with you, I want you to know me -- and I want to know you, too.
That's one thing I love about the Give & Receive process, that it's an opportunity for us all to offer a little piece of ourselves through the things we choose to offer and ask for. These can be tiny things -- food, objects, services, advice, words of affirmation -- anything! It really doesn't matter, because the specific gift isn't really what matters. The real gift is your willingness to show up as yourself -- no more and no less -- and trust that that is good enough.
If you're free tomorrow morning for our Natick Community Give & Receive, I hope you will come give it a try.