What would someone who loved themselves do?

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The spiritual teacher Teal Swan offers this exercise as a shortcut to enlightenment: Every day for a year, multiple times a day, commit to asking yourself, "What would someone who loved themselves do?" Then notice what your intuition says, and act accordingly.

I was so grateful when I remembered that practice this morning.

For weeks now I have been struggling with wanting to do things, and having plenty of time available, but not quite knowing what to do. I've been spending way more time than I'd like being distracted and unsettled, in need of something reliable to anchor and guide me. Something that feels more meaningful and motivating than a "to do" list.

Teal's enlightenment exercise was perfect. 

I learned today, when I asked myself at different times, that someone who loved herself would:

  • Do a more challenging exercise routine than she might have otherwise done

  • Be kind to herself when she felt defensive in a conversation, and not respond how she was tempted to respond

  • Actively participate during virtual "coffee hour" after online church

  • Give herself a hug before moving on to the next thing

  • Apologize to her son after she made a boneheaded parenting choice

  • Not waste time beating herself up about that boneheaded parenting choice

  • Quit judging and nitpicking at people

  • Eat when she was hungry

  • Get outside and appreciate the sunshine

Nothing earth-shattering there, perhaps. But that wasn't really the point. The point was to be mindful. Each time I stopped and asked the question, What would someone who loved herself do? it reinforced my intention and ability to act that way. And it really made a difference.

Rather than being in my head much of the day wondering what I should do, or trying to come up with the perfect plan, or being frustrated about feeling stuck and frustrated, I had a way to get unstuck and just do the next right thing. 

I ended the day feeling so much better: more in control of things that I can control, less controlling of things (and people) that I can't, and more gentle and kindhearted toward all of us trying to figure out what the heck to do right now.

My plan is to keep this up for the rest of the week, at least, and would love for you to join me in the experiment. Any interest in giving it a try? If so, please tell me what it’s like for you!