Cleaning up relationship messes

Clean it up.

That's what was written on the oracle card that a friend recently drew for me. Wise words intended to guide my life in a positive direction.

I guess a message like that could refer to mess in the home -- dirt, clutter, disorganization, etc. -- but the first messes I thought of in my life were the relational ones: people that I've hurt and avoided, information that I've withheld, mistakes I've made and not fully owned up to. Situations that make me cringe a little when I think about them, and am not totally sure how to resolve.

It's so easy to avoid cleaning up messes like that. If I feel bad or conflicted already, why would I want to open a vulnerable conversation and risk having those feelings reinforced even further? Often it seems easier to try to ignore it, and hope that the discomfort will just go away.

But of course the discomfort doesn't just go away. Like actual clutter, it sticks around and continues to drain my energy and attention.

Seeing the words on that card nudged me to visualize an alternative, and get into action.

I may not know exactly how to clean up each of my messes, how would it feel if I tried? If I honored myself and the others involved enough to attempt to make it right?

Amazing, is what it would feel like.

I know firsthand because I started it yesterday, with a long overdue conversation with a friend.

Can you think of any relationship messes in your own life? Have you cleaned up any messes before that you are especially proud of? I’m curious: What did you do, and what did it take to get you to a point where you could do it?

Comment below!