A new perspective on procrastination

This weekend I had the joy of listening to this Sounds True interview with one of my heroes, Karla McLaren. She was the inspiration behind the Befriending Emotions workshops I used to teach, and recently published a new book called Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius Inside this Vital Emotion.

Karla said a lot of things that were helpful to me, but my favorite part was around 36 minutes in, where she gave me a whole new way of thinking about my tendency to procrastinate. She was talking about this book, in which researcher Mary Lamia presents two different orientations toward getting things done: task-driven and deadline-driven.

The task-driven folks are the action-oriented ones who get going on projects right away, work on them step-by-step, and make steady progress until they are done.

The deadline-driven people (aka the procrastinators) are the ones who are slower to get started and often use a burst of intense, focused energy at the end to get it done.

I've always heard and assumed that the "start early" approach is the better, preferred one, but according to Dr. Lamia, both work perfectly well for the people who use them.

As someone who frequently completes things at the last minute, this was very validating. See? I'm not just lazy, avoidant and irresponsible! There is a good reason for doing it the way I do it! There are even advantages to this approach! 

I didn't even realize how much baggage I was carrying about this until I let it go.

It's funny, now that I'm not feeling so ashamed of my save-it-to-the-last-minute ways, I'm also feeling more open to changing them. For instance, I wonder if there are ways to keep what I love about this approach, but also reduce the stress that I know it can cause for other people.

It's the classic irony of not being able to change something until you stop resisting it.

And how the best way to help someone change is to accept them just as they are.

I'm curious: Do you have a story about a characteristic that you once were embarrassed by, but came to embrace? What, or who, helped you with that perspective shift? How were things different for you afterwards?

If you're inspired to share, please do!